He Loves You but He’s Not in Love

A man will only mess with you if you let him. The key being “let him,”but so many women refuse to take responsibility. Their egos paint this picture that they fell for a man who had no warning signs, who was a master manipulator, and that they were merely an unsuspecting victim in his dishonest game.

If you think a man can gain mental power over a woman without her giving it, you’re either delusional or stupid. You control who gains access to your heart, but the first step is preventing these bums from gaining access to your ears. The counter to this will be the defensive cry of, “If men would be honest, we wouldn’t have this problem.”If people didn’t like cocaine, there wouldn’t be cartels.

If people didn’t steal, there wouldn’t be alarm systems. If men were driven by love as opposed to sex, you wouldn’t need intelligence. But you do! The reality is that you don’t wish a problem away; you take steps to prevent yourself from being victimized. Go write a book about how men shouldn’t lie for sex, do you think the average man is going to put his dick away and play nice? Post a social media message about how men are all dogs.

Do you think the average woman is going to stop wanting to have that dog’s puppies? Go scream from the mountaintop about what’s fair and morally right, and see how much the world changes by the time you go on your next date. Males are winning because they understand what women want to hear, tell it to them, and these girls get open. Women know how men are, no girl that makes it through high school is naïve, yet they continue to fall for the same tricks. The 21st century is a pussy gold rush, where any man who can feign interests can strike gold! The solution isn’t to tell the burglar not to rob your house, the solution is to put a helpless lock on your door, and arm yourself with weapons to keep your heart safe from these crooks. How does a man go from being just a guy you find to be handsome visually, to someone you’re actually developing feelings for? He tells you a story. How does he reach that next level of sex if you’re the type of girl who doesn’t sleep around for fun? He does or says things to make you trust him. How does this man get the right to become your boyfriend? He either asks you or claims you without asking, and you choose to go along with that title.

Three steps that depend on the same thing in order to move forward at each turn, a woman giving a man access. A man can lie and say that his last girlfriend cheated on him and that he just wants to find someone to trust. If you choose to believe that lie at face value without vetting him, that’s your fault. A man can lie and say sex doesn’t matter, wait 90 days, 3 dates, or whatever arbitrary rule you came up with to avoid sleeping with guys too fast. If you let him sleeping with you because he waited and put your faith in time spent as opposed to time discovering, you have no one to blame but yourself when he suddenly vanishes.

A man can lie and say that he’s ready for a relationship, but in reality, he’s either comfortable with you as a placeholder or feeling pressured to give you what you want so he can get or keep getting your benefits. If you agree to that title without making that man show you that love, it’s going to be your bad when it crumbles because you didn’t question that man’s motives and allowed yourself to be claimed. Women have the power to say “no,”at every point! A man has to ask permission to take you out, to sleep with you, and even to commit to you.

So again, if he mess with you, you can’t blame the person that played you until you look at the person that gave permission. The majority of women rush into love as if they only get one shot. Your good friend Fear is pulling your strings telling you to give that man a date, but not to ask too many questions because he may not like girls who pry. Fear is telling you to have sex with him before you’re ready because handsome men these days are going to get it from someone else if you’re acting stingy with your kitty cat. Finally, that fear that you won’t find another man like the one you barely vetted will make you anxious for a relationship title…does he really like me…what’s he waiting for…is this going to stay a situationship…That fear transforms from anxiety to joy when he does ask you to be his girlfriend or suddenly starts calling you his girlfriend.

You were afraid he didn’t want to commit to you, that you were wasting your time, and for him to solidify that you’re together doesn’t trigger questions like, “Why does he want to be with me? Why do I want to be with him? Do I know enough about him to commit myself? Has he done enough to show me that he’s worth committing to?”Instead, you go with the flow. You don’t know why you want to be a man’s girlfriend other than loneliness, you’re just happy someone you like back wants to lock you down. When you break up, and you will eventually break up when you date with a man in full control, you will look back and point the finger at him. He told you things that made you like his personality, he didn’t mention his bad habits or show signs that he would grow bored.

No shit! Men aren’t in the habit of leading with their worst traits. They hide negatives and amp up positives like any smart person would when trying to win. Most women don’t date to learn, they date to be liked. Most women don’t have sex because he earns it, they have sex because the combination of hormones, fear of him getting it elsewhere, and the pressure he puts on you in private, becomes enough. Most women rush into a relationship only to find out a man has all kinds of incompatibilities and baggage.

These mistakes can all be avoided during the dating stage, but you’re so afraid that you will miss out on a once in a lifetime man, that you don’t kick the tires and check under the hood before you drive him off the lot!

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